March 2012
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I feel like I’m the least stonery person in...
sorry i’m not home right now i’m walking into spiderwebs.
February 2012
75 posts
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I just ate an entire oven pizza. It’s fine. I don’t care.
At work and there’s a plastic bag American Beautying the fuck out of the parking lot outside my window.
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I’m going on vacation for a month and I take about three days to read a book, which would make packing TERRIBLE if I didn’t have an eBook reader. What are some books that I will like enough to pay for an eBook version of, but won’t like enough to be sad that I don’t own a real-life copy of it?
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When elderly people come to George Clooney movies at my theatre I like to imagine that they’re a) cougaring after him or b) thinking “Oh how nice, it’s Rosemary’s nephew!”
Tonight I found out how becoming an alcoholic works.
Have a glass of wine with dinner before you go to work.
Have two glasses of champagne when you arrive at work.
Think to yourself, completely sincerely, “Hey, this is a lot more fun when I’ve had a few drinks. I should do this every day.”
wow, they’re really jerking off all over hugo tonight aren’t they?
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I think when my boyfriend left for school this morning I said “Stay gold, Ponyboy,” before I went back to sleep. I think that’s a thing that happened.
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Empathy Test →
taffypulller:
imwiththemilf:
benjiecandoit:
newyorktopaloalto:
wardos-:
ruprt:
0 - 32 = low (most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20) 33 - 52 = average (most women score about 47 and most men score about 42) 53 - 63 is above average 64 - 80 is very high 80 is maximum
46 - average.
71- Very High
50 - Average
35 - Low average
26
...
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Gran: How's Kelli doing?
Me: Good. She works at a liquor store and she's bisexual now.
(half an hour passes)
Gran: Now. How does being a bisexual work?
Me: I guess you just touch whatever kinda junk you feel like touching.
Gran: LOL
Me: LOL
Bisexuals: LOL
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“Ugh, of course you have a scar from your tragic past and of course it looks sooo...”
– Sometimes I like to hate-creep the Facebook fan pages that 20-year-old photographers make for themselves.
“Misandry” may be the most efficient word in the English language. In just one...”
– Cracked, of all things. Seriously. Cracked is now doing better on gender politics than Tumblr. Just sit with that for a moment.
(NB: The rest of the article contains some of the same problematic stuff that’s in most Cracked columns, and for the love of all that is good, DON’T READ THE COMMENTS!)
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A cool way to make your sinuses feel a little different than usual: if you feel the need to cough while you’ve got a mouthful of tea, DON’T swallow the tea and then cough. What you must do is spray all the tea out through your nose while coughing loudly.
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Listen
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Coworker: So do you have any plans for Valentine's day tomorrow?
Me: No, Trevor made plans to hang out with his cousin so I'm going to sit around and watch Ryan Gosling movies.
Coworker: (laughs)
Me: I realise when I say that it makes you think I'm going to be watching the sappy ones, but just so you know it's going to be Drive. I'm going to watch Drive like three times tomorrow.
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Watch
I Could Lookout For You
A mix between the most romantic and violent scene you’ll ever witness. When Ryan Gosling (Driver) wants Carey Mulligan (Irene) to understand how much she means to him and how protective he could be, but showing his violent side makes her feel scared.
One of the best scenes of 2011. From the movie ‘Drive’.
I bought this todayyyy
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